IS HAVING A SPOUSE WORTH GOING TO HELL?

By Charles N. Spence, Jr.

Marriage is a blessed union so arranged to exemplify a higher purpose: the blessed union between Christ and His church (Eph. 5:22-32; esp. 32). The nature of the relationship between a husband and wife is explained in clear and understandable terms in God's word (Matt. 19:1-9; 1 Cor. 7; Col. 3:18-19; Heb. 13:5; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). Anyone can obtain from these passages those principles that are necessary to assure a good and happy marriage. However, not everyone desires to do or even to know those things that make for an acceptable marriage in God's sight. Many people will lose their souls because they fail to hold in high regard God's marriage institution.

The focus of this article is divorce and remarriage. However, much can be said about marriages that may not end up in divorce, but are not what they should be. Such will be left to another article. Divorce and remarriage have become hot topics in society today. Everyone tends to have a view or a solution to this ever-increasing problem. There is only one view that ought to matter: God's.

Many people will sell their souls to the devil just to have a spouse. To reiterate, the principles of marriage and divorce put forth in God's word are clear. Yet, so much misunderstanding and deliberate violations of these principles exit. When Jesus said in Matthew 19:9, "And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Jesus spoke plainly. He did not equivocate. He spoke plainly. If a spouse divorces his or her spouse for any reason other than marital unfaithfulness, neither spouse can remarry. The marriage relationship is a product of God's divine mind. He has sole authority to regulate it. So many people want to do that which the Lord did not say or permit concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage. Many who are divorced have done so on the basis of spousal abuse, laziness, unproductiveness, cannot get along, etc. Yet, Jesus gave ONE reason for which a person may divorce his or her spouse: "except it be for fornication." Jesus says nothing about what the put away spouse can do other than the fact that one who marries one who has been put away commits adultery.

Now Jesus' disciples understood what Jesus said concerning the marriage relationship. They said, "If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry" (Matt. 19:10). The disciples were not responding to the idea that it is good not to marry at all. They were saying that it is good not to marry another after having divorced one's spouse for a cause other than marital unfaithfulness. However, Jesus acknowledge the reality of the situation when he said, "All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given" (Matt. 19:11). Jesus is referring to the saying that it is good not to marry. The force of what Jesus said is that not everyone is willing to accept it. Only those that are of a certain kind of heart will be able to accept this truth (Matt. 13:11-13).

Despite the clear teaching of Jesus on this vital subject, people still feel the need to compromise their spiritual and eternal fitness for momentary gratification. What is even more startling is that there are those who think that they can be in a relationship with God, who have divorced and remarried contrary to God's will.

As stated earlier, people are going to be lost because they refuse to do what is right concerning the marriage relationship. Many people have refused to obey the gospel because they realized that they need to get out of an unscriptural marriage. Jesus taught, "I tell you, Nay: but except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3). Repentance necessitates turning from a life of sin to a life of righteousness (Acts 3:19; 26:20; Matt. 3:8). It is a sin to remarry after divorcing for a cause other than adultery. Once in that sinful relationship a person must get out of it, if they truly want to demonstrate the fruits of repentance. Yet, many will not do what is necessary to establish a relationship with Christ. For they value a relationship with their spouse more than they do a relationship with Christ. The question they must ask themselves is, "Is having a spouse worth going to hell?"

Those who are in unscriptural relationships often try to rationalize their predicament. They say such things as, "Certainly God does not want me to be unhappy!" Well, certainly no one will be happy in hell (Matt. 24:51; Rev. 14:10-11). One's eternal happiness is dependent upon doing the will of God (Matt. 5:3-12). Many have said that they will not and simply could not leave their unscriptural spouse. Well, they simply, yet unfortunately, will not and could not be with God in heaven (1 Cor. 6:9-10). Those who think they can are only deceiving themselves.

Jesus taught that certain people, those with an honest and good heart (Matt. 13:23; 7:21, 24-27), are those who can receive the saying, "it is not good to marry." In Matthew 19:12, Jesus identifies three classes of people who can accept this saying. They are those who are born without an inclination, desire or capacity for marriage, those who became incapacitated to marry at the hands of men and those who, for the sake of heaven, choose not to marry. Those whose hearts are genuinely turned toward heaven will be able to receive "this saying." For most that are unscripturally divorced and remarried, they will only go so far for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. They must be willing to answer honestly the question, "Is having a spouse worth going to hell?"